


How to measure strength

by somerandomperson



Series: Words for Inktober [15]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Golden Age, Pretending Season 4 & 5 don't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 18:03:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16454789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somerandomperson/pseuds/somerandomperson
Summary: Uther had very strict rules about how a King should appear that he had drilled into Arthur, above all never show weakness. Merlin however has different ideas.





	How to measure strength

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 15 - Weak 
> 
> Still perpetually annoyed that we didn't get to see the golden age of Camelot in Merlin! I guess I will just have to get off my arse and start writing about it. 
> 
> So behind now, like so behind but i will finish! At some point.

Arthur's father might be dead now but his ghost cast a long shadow. There were times where Arthur could hear his father's voice so clearly, like he was standing right behind him. 

Arthur knew that his father hadn't been right about everything but it was hard to keep things that his father had drilled into him from creeping back into his head. They often came at times where it was hard to focus. Times when he was stressed or tired. Times when it felt the weight of the world depended on him. And it did to a certain extent. He was king, his decisions and actions, his neglect or inaction affected people's lives. What he did or didn't do could mean life or death for his people and it weighed on him. 

Times like these, when a disease was creeping through the crops of his kingdom and people were beginning to panic. Nothing they had tried was working and his counsel were beginning to run out of ideas. He was responsible and had no idea how to fix it. The panicked faces of the farmers he had met with today were in the front of his mind. Arthur just wanted to break down and say he was a solider not a farmer he didn't know how to help. He wanted to, he would throw his support and resources behind a solution but he didn't have the knowledge to help. And he hated that. Hated that he didn't have a solution for them. 

He wanted to ask, to send out for experts but the council were weary of letting other people know the vulnerable state that they were in, to present a strong front. He couldn't help think that they wouldn't be presenting a strong front when half the population were starving. But he couldn't show weakness. A king didn't show weakness to anyone, not his advisers not his people. No weakness in anything even if it meant getting aid. Uther would not have stood for the idea that he couldn't solve a problem. Or at least present that idea to the world. 

Arthur slowed entered his chambers trying to ignore his headache and the fact that he felt bone deep tired. As soon as the door was shut behind him Arthur let his body slump against the door. He let the weight of his problems settle on his body. Let the strain of the situation show. Behind these doors he could drop the appearance of impregnability and just be Arthur. 

Arthur didn't notice Merlin's approach until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sit down before you fall down" Merlin said as he guided Arthur towards the table. Arthur took in the room, the fire was crackling merrily in the hearth and there was two plates of food next to a pile of papers. 

"I don't understand why you aren't talking to that farming counsel from Normandy" Merlin said pouring Arthur some wine. 

Merlin moved round the table gathering the papers and scrolls up. 

"I can't let people believe that I don't have the answer" Arthur took a sip of wine "any weakness can be used against me, I have to maintain appearances".

"You’ve got some funny ideas" Merlin said placing the scrolls back on the table "a wise man and a strong one knows when to ask for help".

Arthur sighed heavily "A strong king also knows when the time to show your hand is and when to keep it close but always remain strong."

Dragged a chair close to Arthur and sat down facing him. Merlin chewed on his lip then slowly reached out and took Arthur's other hand. Arthur watched as Merlin clasped his hand and gently stroked his fingers back and forth. 

Merlin took a deep breath, giving Arthur's hand a squeeze before looking Arthur "is that you or Uther talking?"

Arthur's entire body stiffened; every muscle instinctively tensing at the mention of his father. He looked down to his hand which were tightly clenched into fists.

Merlin gently uncurled Arthur’s fingers, rubbing the tension out of them. 

"Arthur, it's not weak to ask for help" Arthur's gaze snapped up to Merlin's. Merlin was looking at him with soft eyes. The dark smudges under his eyes a contrast against his pale skin.

Arthur took a deep breath, giving Merlin's hands a squeeze he got up and started to pace.

"I just can't expose our problems"

"Arthur it’s not really..."

Arthur stopped and held up his hand to Merlin who stopped mid-sentence tilting his head slightly to the side as he watched Arthur resume his pacing. "Even if I could, who would we ask?" Arthur said throwing his hands out wide.

"Well....."

Arthur stopped, and gave Merlin a glare. Merlin had turned in his chair to watch Arthur and was slowly pulling apart a slice of bread, dropping the parts onto his plate.

"What have you done Merlin?"

"Do you remember the delegation from Normandy last summer?"

"Yes..."

"Well maybe one of the Lords had a tenant that was doing some interesting things with corn and wheat and maybe I write to them at the start of this crisis, and maybe they have responded with information."

Merlin gave Arthur a big grin and waved in the direction of the piles of paper on the table.

"Merlin" Arthur sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

Merlin looked Arthur straight in the eye "We aren't weak if we ask for help or information. You are not weak."

Merlin walked towards the table "I have read through about a third of the materials they sent and I think there are some ideas that might help" he started sorting the papers into piles "I thought if we went over the rest tonight we could present any finding to the council tomorrow"

Arthur took a moment watching how Merlin stood by the table small smile on his face. He looked hopeful Arthur thought, Merlin always managed to find hope. Arthur wasn't sure if this was going to make him look weak, but in that moment standing there watching Merlin's hopeful face he knew he would do anything, not just for his people but to ensure that he never saw Merlin lose faith in him.  
Arthur moved towards his chair holding his hand out for the papers. Merlin grinned widely at him clutching papers to his chest, papers creasing under the tight grip of his fingers.

Merlin and Arthur say down at the table, Arthur flipping through the papers as Merlin served the food and made comments on what Arthur was looking at.

Maybe he'd be seen as weak, but if that meant he found a solution and helped his people who gave a damn how he came across.


End file.
